The Gateway into my Mind

"Had I been blessed with even limited access to my own mind there would have been no reason to write. I write entirely to find out what I am thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."
                                        Joan Dideon from the The Writer on Her Work, Vol 1

I love thinking about art as a gateway into my mind and I certainly find it so, and I certainly find many surprises there. Who knew? I am a shy person by nature. But I now place importance in bringing forth and shining my light. Sometimes at least. It takes courage and energy and focus to blog and paint and create but if I don't do it something essential about me will stay hidden and unknown and unexpressed. I need a map into my mind and this process of creating is a map to some very surprising destinations.

This is a painting I am working on right now in the FlowerPower- see feel paint class with Pauline Agnew. I absolutely recommend the class. The first photo shows the first layer of paint with lots of mark making on a blank 24x24" canvas. I really was liking how this was looking and thought something good would come out of it. The second and third photos are the progression of a face.

Faces are tricky and I am just a beginner. I get the eyes and nose and mouth in the general right place but then the expression is just a total crap shoot. I often use a reference picture for shading and proportion- but my painting never has the same expression as the reference photo. At least until I get better, the expressions are either chance, or come from my subconscious. I believe what comes out on the canvas is a reflection of me in someway so I am betting on the subconscious. I am loving this painting because I love her expression. It is peaceful and knowing and accepting. She feels like pure beauty and peace to me. I love her looking out at me and being a part of me and creating her. All those things are such magic and a magical gateway into my mind.